Friday, December 15, 2006

Must be December

Forget a white Christmas, I’m just looking forward to an evening when I can go home after work and stay there.
No errands. No concerts. No exams. Nada.

And it’s not just because it makes things busy and a bit hectic, but also because it messes with my sleep. I’m tired and the result is that pretty much everyone around me pays for it. Our schedules are messed up and I forget that it’s probably easier to just cut everyone some slack instead of trying to plow forward.

At this point I would like to offer up an apology to those around me who have had to deal with my moodiness. While I don’t really plan on doing anything about it – I feel the need to say I’m sorry.

When I’m tired my mind goes a bit mushy – I get a bit more sensitive and, at this time of the year, that’s a dangerous thing. Christmas songs make me tear up on the ride in to work, I choke up reading The Littlest Angel, I worry that I’m forgetting someone on my gift list.

Once again, I have decided to not send out cards – for no other reason that I just didn’t make the time for it. I can be honest about that – I won’t make some lame-ass excuse and say that I’m protesting the ever-increasing price of stamps. But, this decision leaves me with a bit of guilt ever time I open a card that someone sends to our house.

I do enjoy Christmas and look forward to the holidays, but this week has taken a lot out of me and it has left me feeling like it looks outside – grey, blah, and muddy.

I have been listening to many of my co-workers talk about their upcoming extended holidays and while I’m not really jealous (it was my choice to use up my vacation days), I do envy them the time off. Some time away from this place would be a good thing. A very good thing.

So while it no fault of theirs – I simply don’t want to hear about it.

Anyhow, I’ll keep watching the skies for that snow – it always seems to brighten things up make you feel like you’ve been given a brand new blank sheet of paper that you can do anything with.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My Public Service Announcement

Too all my legion of readers (all four of you), I'm back...

Most kids stories have two levels: entertaining and teaching. While the kids picture animals talking to one another, parents are hoping that the messages are getting through.

Go at a steady pace, work hard all the time, size doesn’t matter when it comes to rescuing lions, and so on.

It’s from these stories that we get great expressions like: slow and steady wins the race.

Here at work we have expressions too, like “single piece work flow”.

We try to apply this theory at home. It means don’t take out a new set of toys until you’ve put the ones you are finished with away. It also means, finish what you’ve started. And to me, it also means, if you took it out, you put it away – I’m not your maid.

Apparently this lesson isn’t learned by all. For instance, my boss (oh come on, you knew this was coming.).

He has taken it upon himself to learn how to do a type of analysis. This is a one-person job and should only take a few hours to complete.

In a twisted version of Henny-Penny, the hen who wanted all the other farm animals to help make the bread, my boss recruited the assistance of many associates to help him get this report done.

And who will prepare and test the sample for me?
And who will jot down notes while I dictate them for me?
And who will do more material testing for me?
And who will help me figure out what design it is?
And who will help me write the comments?
And who will help me calculate more information?
And who will enter it in the computer for me?
And who will proofread the report for me?
And who will do the second proofread the report for me?
And who will tell me where to put everything when I’m done?

At the end of the three weeks it took to do the reports, there were about seven people involved.
I suppose as long as he was walking at a steady pace and holding the scissors with the pointy end down, it was all right.

Now if I remember the Tale of the Little Red Hen correctly, she only let those animals that helped her eat the bread. Does this mean that my boss is going to add all of our names to the report? I think not.

So for god sake people, teach your kids the basic lessons in life.

Let my boss be a warning to all of you who wonder if it’s worth it.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I would like to ass you a question

It’s nice to know that underneath that professional veneer and seriousness, politicians are still just a bunch of grade school kids at heart.

How are else do you explain the burst of laughter when Jack accidentally said “ass” instead of “gas”?

I mean, I found it funny, but then I’m not charged with running the country.

It is refreshing to see them not take themselves so seriously, but in response to his question on whether he should take the comment personally or not…

…yes Stephen…you are an ass.