Thursday, October 20, 2011

Asking the questions that matter

I am seriously thinking of adding a new question into my interview repertoire.

What kind of car do you drive?

Oh I know the pitfalls and lack of “validity” that this question has, but I can’t say I much care. Based on my 2-hour commute each day, I’m starting to build up a generalization theory based on the kind of car people drive.

Right off the bat – Echo, Corolla, and Ford Focus...odds are you are going to be late for work (drive a little bit slower?!) or calling in because your vehicle is broken down. Again.

Jeep anything – especially Liberty or Wrangler –I’m going to be wary of attitude. First of all let me clarify, you do not own the fuckin road – so stop driving like it. I’m anticipating that you will be wasting people’s time at work explaining how some other idiot driver caused you to get into an accident

PT Cruiser, Scion, Honda Element – I’m questioning your ability to make good
decisions. Honestly.

Escapade, SUV, Suburban – you are likely going to be highly focused on the salary as you are getting tired of choosing between food for your kids and gas for your vehicle

Honda (except Element, see above) and Mazda (except Miata, see my thoughts on these) – you are going to go with the flow, not stir it up too much and blend in

Mercedes, BMWs, Audis – you will still have to show me some substance in an interview, I am not impressed by a car that is referred to by alpha-numeric BS (seriously hate the demise of car names)

Hybrid or Smart car – good on ya, but do not get preach-y with me and sell me a story about how you only want to work for a company that has a 25-year Environmental and Social Responsibility Strategy…or whether our free coffee is also free trade

Bicycle – Awesome, you won’t need a parking pass and you are in good physical condition, but your serious lack of judgment when it comes to biking into work during -a 25C snow storm (and creating havoc on the roadway) makes me wonder about the chaos you can cause in the workplace

There is nothing I like more than simplifying my screening process – especially when it involves using heavily biased personal opinions. Makes me think of how recruiting must have been in the “good old days”.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

HR-ing myself to death

The expression “physician heal thyself” speaks volumes to me.
Aside from the obvious fact that I am not medically trained in any way, shape or form at all…I am a big believer that before you can start to help others (and by this, I actually mean judge them for their short-comings), I need to get myself straightened up.

Especially in terms of HR.

Often I find myself sitting around at a meeting table, asking an employee on how they feel about their work, the company, their future with us and they are telling me about how happy they are here, how challenged they are, how they want to come to work every day.

Of course, my first reaction is actually – bullshit. No one WANTS to come to work every day. And happy?!

Honestly. My first reaction to someone telling me that they like being here – at a company that I promote throughout recruiting process – one that I’m trying to improve in terms of adding value-added resource – is bullshit.

I am thinking I need to give my head a serious shake. Either that or I need to take a near-lethal dose of smarten the hell up. Really, what I would tell an employee sitting in my cute new brown loafers is – either get with the program or leave.

And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve talked to quite a few jaded HR people and it’s not about naively accepting everything someone tells you, but we are a little too quick to look for the “real” meaning behind the words.

Before we can expect anyone else to buy into HR, we have to believe in ourselves.

So, I’m prescribing myself a dose of optimism, which oddly enough, is recommended to be taken with alcohol.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Getting my yang on

So I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been away.

I haven’t been travelling extensively across the world. I haven’t started a new company. I haven’t been camping out in a park across from Wall St. I haven’t been sitting in a cave trying to find myself. I’ve just been… being.

I’ve been purposefully lazy. I have been somewhat introspective, trying to figure out what I should be doing (now and next), and doing yin yoga. I love Yin because it’s quiet, it promotes deep stretching, and it helps me to focus on what’s going on rather than the parade of absurdity that’s constantly running through my brain. I really enjoy it; however, it’s coming to an end.

I’m getting antsy and feel like I need to be more physically active. I got out of my sparse attitude and having been buying new clothes. I’m bidding my time, but slowly lining myself up to drop-kick my boss. I don’t mean up and quit, but more like stop being the flippin’ doormat that I feel I’ve become around her. I feel like writing again.

Maybe it’s the cooler weather. Maybe it’s the fall-back-to-school routine, but I feel a change in momentum.

For every yin there is a yang.

And Yang I am.